▶ Tales from the Crypt
Moon Iris | top

You awaken amidst the darkness with only a faint light to greet you. Your body is hemmed in by shards of crystals, gently sparkling and possibly pricking your skin. The surrounding landscape is dyed in the pinks and purples of the dusk filled with crystals protruding from the ground, some as large as a skyscraper. Even the few shy moon creatures you find in the wild have strange crystal growths on their hides. This is far from home— perhaps a dream? You pinch your skin and slap your cheeks, yet nothing seems to do the trick. Searching for answers yields nothing but an endless expanse of purple dust as far as the eye can see. You have four options: one, panic; two, soil yourself; three, admire it all then soil yourself; or four, go into survival mode. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

After a day or two of living off the crystal wilderness, a group of people find you worse for wear. They are the gallant Moon Knights from the planet of Prismatica. After the strange phenomenon during the past months when scientists observed the sudden appearance of rainbow crystals in the sky, the government has been feverishly combing through the moon for more Moonblessed to be rescued. You’ll eventually be brought into Iris’s moon government center.

You all may have your usual inquiries — Where are we? Who are you? What's going on? Why did I eat those fifty cent street truck tacos last night? — and the Prismals are almost too eager to answer. They tell you about their world and about the first appearance of the Moonblessed as the medical staff give you an examination to make sure you’re not carrying any viruses or biological hazards. If you react violently, you may be restrained and nerfed with a specialized neurotransmitting gun that releases a numbing agent through the top of your spine. Once the examinations are over, you’re informed that you will be provided accommodations on their planet during your stay.

While waiting for transport to be prepared, you may freely roam around the government center. Alternatively, you can ask the staff about the moon base. They suggest that you visit one of their excavation sites nearby: an enormous hole known as the Glory. The scientists have been excavating this site carefully for years, searching for a legendary ancient tomb sleeping within. They’re accepting volunteers if anyone is inclined to aid in their efforts. Perhaps the Moonblessed have the knowledge they need to make it a success!

A ⬤ A chroma-powered lift made of magically fortified crystal is used to access the lower grounds. Be careful not to fall off! On the way down, some translucent caterpillars and crystals light your way. Be quiet and keep an eye out for Queen Bowie beetles: these glowing neon bugs are attracted to music, and a single note will send them flying into your clothes and hair. Putting the beetles under pressure is not advised, as they will explode and send their sticky insides flying throughout the airspace, potentially stinging your eyes. This will make moving around in dark, cramped spaces all the more difficult! Thankfully, they get bored if no one tries to sing for one whole minute.

B ⬤ Scientists, engineers, miners, and archeologists are at the unearthed antechambers, hard at work. They will assign you to different tasks: recording observations and taking down notes, digging with advanced excavation tools, or collecting fragile relics with metal and crystal detectors. The Moonblessed may also assist with solving riddles the ancients left in the tomb’s doors, chests and walls. Solving them may lead to either treasure rooms or trap walls that close in on unsuspecting grave robbers. Others, well...

Golden jellyfish statues line the walls, encrusted with glistening jewels all over, some worse for wear. Tall pillars have numerous ancient runes which the Prismals are struggling to decipher. Soon, an eerie whisper reaches your mind: “Wander no further. A curse awaits all who enter our kingdom. Disturb not those who slumber in the deep.” True enough, the floor from this point onward appears to be blue sand combed in the pattern of ocean waves... Are you brave enough to continue drilling through?

C ⬤ If that is not enough to send you scrambling out with moist underwear, perhaps the seismic jolt to the ground will. A slimy substance begins to ooze out the tomb’s cracks, glowing lilac like the Iris moon... The Prismals are quick to usher everyone out before the shaking gets worse. As the lift may be too dangerous, climbing equipment will be provided. Watch out for falling debris or collapsing rocks while assisting each other out of cramped passages and up the walls to safety. Try not to get stuck in the slime!

This little adventure might leaving you wondering what or who exactly lies deeper inside, but the Prismals are just as clueless as you are. Cave-ins happen from time to time, but this might have been the strongest one recorded on this site.

Eventually you’re called to the docks and led onto a large transport vessel. Destination: Prismatica.




▶ Those Kicks were Fast as Lightning
Higher Lunatia, Level 1 | top

Welcome to Prismatica’s hub, Lunatia, the city of your dreams! A bustling metropolis lush with bright lights, vibrant colors, luxuriant plant life, and all the conveniences of technology absent from your own world… It seems like paradise to all the uninitiated.

With the end of Harvest Boon, the city is calm once more. The streets of Level 1 and 2 are now sparkling clean as always, but Level 3 is still in the process of cleaning up. There are confetti and deflated balloons strewn all over the streets, but Swiffy bots are on the scene, sweeping up whatever waste they can get their hands on. Sometimes, they might even play tug-of-war with you for it. At one of the train stations, a Prismal doomsayer screams about the apocalypse returning. Passersby shrug at the conspiracy theory and move on.

A ⬤ In response to the unexpected rough events during Harvest Boon, the Moon Knights decided to hold free-for-all self-defense seminars at a large park near Lunatia Square. The live demonstrations include proper monster-wrangling procedures and how to efficiently keep a rogue moonheld (read: transformed under the moon) Prismal away. Participants are encouraged to learn and interact with each other to learn various safety practices and techniques. The training visors provided enhance the seminar experience, changing whoever your eyes focus on into a cerberus or other rogue moonheld Prismal on the visor’s display. Don’t use the visors for too long, or you’ll be seeing everyone as a cerberus well after you take the visors off! Fortunately, the effects only last for an hour. Energy drinks and free snacks are available to any worn-out Prismal or Moonblessed.

B ⬤ Virtual lunar conditions are also available via multiplayer VR pods in Lunar Scientia headquarters, simulating the Moonblessed/moonheld experience under full moons. Mental exercises and magic practice sessions are accessible in the virtual spaces, allowing people to test out their magical abilities and transformations. Simulation participants can either train by themselves, with a partner, or through a tutorial of instruction-based movements. However, the program is still in beta. You may experience errors or bugs like lagging, NPCs phasing into things they shouldn’t, weird physics, or body glitches.

▶ Meas Trees are the Bee’s Knees
Middle Lunatia, Level 2 | top

The rows of Meas trees planted this Harvest Boon are blossoming beautifully into view, painting the fields in Level 2 with colors of spring. Meas tree saplings each have a small sign next to them, displaying their owners’ written wish if they chose to disclose it. Interestingly, the color and aroma of each flower depends on the owners; fiery personalities might have red or orange flowers, those born in a coastal town might have flowers that smell like the sea near their hometown, and so on. Maybe you’ll encounter a familiar aroma if you’re lucky enough.

The Moonblessed who were most active with moonlacing the past few weeks have the largest trees, nearly rivaling the oldest Meas trees around. The older trees planted by Prismals over time can be seen in the next field, standing majestically with their swaying branches and flying petals.

A ⬤ Picnic grounds for flower viewings can be found near the fields. There are plenty of stalls selling homemade bruschettas, crostinis, sandwiches, wines, cheeses, and other enjoyable finger food. Notably, some wines may give you an insatiable desire to whisper things in someone’s ear. Sweet nothings, death threats, your secret kinks—no matter the words, you’ll want to kill someone softly with them.

B ⬤ The Swiffy bots that are assigned to the parks and gardens in Level 2 help keep things spick and span, but they’re due for maintenance and may attempt to sweep off any unfortunate picnics with their high-powered vacuums or leaf blowers. As they zoom across the paths, they chirrup about not treading on the grass and take off with picnic blankets, table cloths, and people’s clothes. Any nearby maintenance staff (who are all desperately trying to chase the bots) yell that a conk on the head will immobilize them. Once the malfunctioning bots are stopped, the staff approach to wheel them away while apologising profusely for the mayhem.

▶ Questions

If you have any questions regarding this test drive meme, please ask them in the Questions thread below.